Til the Wheels Fall Off
by littlespider
Summary: Everyone needs someone they don't have to explain themselves to. Inspired by the ending of 3.11


I wrote this in response to the ending of 3.11, "Nikki Heat". It's AU because… well, I wasn't happy with the idea of Ryan getting married. Don't really know why, but it just seemed wrong to me. Not that I don't want Ryan to be happy (because I do), but I prefer to see him suffer a little!

Rated for a little language... 'cause that's how an angry cop talks!

Disclaimer: Ryan wouldn't have proposed if I owned Castle. Why else do you think I'm trying to fix this mess?

* * *

It was around 6:45 am when Kate Beckett strolled into the precinct. It was a little earlier than she normally came in- okay, a lot earlier- but she had wanted to review the murder board, check up with CSU, and go through some security footage before the day officially started. They were in the middle of a pretty gruesome case.

She stopped at the break room before heading to her desk, and was surprised to find Javier Esposito already there. Looking up, he didn't seem phased by seeing her there that early, and simply reached for another mug.

"Coffee?"

Beckett nodded. "Yes, please. What're you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to run through the security footage from the first murder again," Esposito shrugged. "Felt like I might have missed something yesterday."

"Hey, look, coffee party!"

Beckett and Esposito shared a look as Richard Castle sauntered into the room and over to the espresso machine, looking as chipper as he did at two in the afternoon. Beckett blinked a few times to make sure that the lack of sleep from the last week wasn't making her delusional.

"Castle? What are you doing here? It's not even 7!"

The writer shrugged and continued to make his coffee. "I wanted to take another look at the victims' files. Something wasn't sitting right with me, and since _someone_ wouldn't let me take them home…"

Beckett rolled her eyes.

"…Here I am."

"Well, I'll be damned," the female detective smirked. "Looks like fiction just can't cut it for you anymore, huh Castle? A little addicted to crime solving, are we?"

She and Esposito left Castle sputtering for a response and headed into the bullpen. Beckett never made it to her desk, though. She was instead distracted by the fourth and final member of her team, Kevin Ryan, who was slumped over at his desk with his head pillowed in his arms. Esposito frowned at him as he took his own seat.

"Hey, bro, how long you been here?"

The Irishman didn't respond, and Beckett walked right up to his desk, drumming her fingers on it right by his head. "Ryan."

When that didn't get a response, she leaned over, gripped one of his ears, and pulled his head up. His only response was to scrunch up his face in discomfort. Even when she let his head drop back onto his arms, his only reaction was to let out a little "mmff."

By this point, Beckett was getting exasperated. She didn't have time for this; they had three murders to solve!

"Ryan!"

The no-nonsense tone must have registered in his brain, because the other detective raised his head a little and squinted up at his boss. "Wha?"

"What's wrong with you?"

Ryan simply shrugged. Beckett shot Esposito a look, and the man hurried to take over the "questioning" of his partner. "Were you here all night, bro?"

Another shrug.

"I'd take that as a yes," Castle piped up from his perch on Beckett's desk. "You know, despite popular belief, cops need to sleep too."

Ryan didn't respond to that either, and Beckett had reached the end of her patience. "Goddamn it, Kevin, if you don't pull yourself together and tell me what's wrong, I'll have to send you home!"

Esposito watched as his partner's face blanched at the word "home," and felt his own stomach clench. They weren't called partners for nothing- he could read the other man like a book.

"Did something happen with Jenny, bro?" he asked quietly.

Just as he expected, Ryan closed his eyes, leaned back in his chair, and sighed. His voice came out as barely a whisper. "Yeah."

Beckett frowned. "What do you mean something happened? You proposed to her just last week!"

Ryan flinched at her choice of words, and swallowed. "I, uh, when I got home, she was with another guy."

Castle almost choked on his coffee. "With another guy? As in—"

"As in she was in _my_ bed, fucking _another guy_!" Ryan yelled, opening his eyes to reveal perfect blue pools of anger and despair.

The other members of the team stiffened, and instantly began running an inner monologue about how evil this Jenny bitch really was. After all, she'd hurt _their_ Kevin Ryan, and that wasn't something they were going to take lightly.

"Did- did she say why she did it?" Castle asked, sounding absolutely horrified.

"Yeah," Ryan said, a muscle twitching in his jaw. "Said that we were great together, but that I was never around enough. That I worked late too many nights, came home tired and pissy… Said the job took up all the time and energy she wanted me to be putting towards her, towards us."

Beckett closed her eyes momentarily, her "big sister instincts" in overdrive. Although it wasn't the first relationship being on the Force has ruined, it didn't make it any less tragic, especially when it was one of her boys.

"So then why did she say yes when you proposed?"

Ryan seemed to wilt even more, if that was possible. "She said she'd already made one scene, and didn't want to embarrass me in front of you guys. Said she was going to tell me the truth, but never got around to it."

"That bitch." Beckett couldn't contain it any longer.

"You know, I usually don't hit women," Esposito said, his face dark and brooding. "But I'm thinking I could make an exception for this one."

Before Castle could jump in, Ryan let out a half muffled dry sob. "God, I really loved her."

Esposito reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "I know, bro, I know."

Ryan managed a weak smile in thanks, before visibly taking a moment to pull himself together. If Esposito knew his partner- and he did- Ryan just wanted to get back to the case, to distract himself. Sure enough, after a minute, Ryan pulled some file from a stack on his desk, and handed it to Beckett.

"When I came in, I took another look at the phone records. None of our victims were ever contacted by the same number, but check this out. These three different numbers, here? All registered to the same person."

Esposito opened the door to his apartment and let Kevin Ryan wander through before shutting it. Ryan carried an overnight duffle and his suit jacket, both of which he threw on the couch. Even with some lucky breaks in the case, it had been a long day. Both detectives had ended up chasing down a suspect for six blocks. The only thing either one of them wanted to do was go to sleep.

Still, Esposito wandered over to the fridge. "Hey, you want a beer?"

"Sure," Ryan replied, plopping down next to his bag. "Thanks for letting me crash here tonight, bro. J-Jenny called earlier and said she'd be gone by the end of the day tomorrow."

"No worries, bro. Anytime."

As they sipped their beers, Esposito studied his partner. Ryan looked a lot better than before. His color was coming back a bit, as well as his sense of humor, and Esposito fully attributed this to the job. Not many people could go to the office knowing that they were helping make things just a bit better, and that they had a whole family of people to help them do that. Because, as cliché as it sounded, that's what they were at the precinct. One big, weird family.

"You know how long it's been going on?"

"A few months, at least," Ryan said with a sad smile.

"What makes you say that?"

"She's movin' straight from my place to his."

They finished the rest of their beers in silence, but it was anything but quiet in Esposito's head. If Ryan had really loved Jenny as much as he said he did, he could have left the Force. It was something they had talked about before – how far they would go for someone they really loved. But that would have meant that Ryan would be leaving Javier behind. And he couldn't do that because, as much as he loved Jenny, as much as he needed the job, Kevin needed Javier more.

Everyone needs someone they don't have to explain themselves to.

This knowledge caused warmth to spread throughout Esposito's body, and a lump to form in his throat. Ryan hadn't just walked away from a girl he really loved – he had walked away for Esposito, for his partner. He had chosen his brother over Jenny.

There was a reason why Esposito was willing to take a bullet for his partner any day.

"Hey, Kev?"

"Yeah?"

"It don't really matter what happened or what didn't happen with Jenny. 'Cause you've got me."

Ryan was quiet for a second before giving Esposito a warm look. "I know, bro."

"We're partners. And that means you're stuck with me 'til the wheels fall off."


End file.
